David Lo Pan Style

I don’t normally like to post parody videos on here…BECAUSE I’M A SNOB, OKAY!!

No. That’s not it. I don’t usually post them because, like a good topical joke, the shelf-life of these videos is so short. And thanks to the Internet, it’s even shorter. The speed at which a song can go from catchy to hit to covers to parodies to cloying has become days instead of months. That’s crazy to me. I’m sure as I’ve typed this, someone’s career has risen and fallen and maybe risen again (if you’re Jesus!).

That being said, I will post this video because it’s about Big Trouble In Little China.

This video also gets bonus points for including the actual Lo Pan (James Hong). That guy is 83 and he looks almost exactly the same as he did when they shot the movie so I’m guessing he found a green-eyed bride to sacrifice.

Dammit. Now I just want to watch Big Trouble In Little China but my DVD is missing. I still have the case but the disc is gone. How does that even happen? If any of you guys have stumbled on a loose DVD of Big Trouble I think it’s safe to assume that it’s mine so drop me a line and we’ll work something out.

The Thing Action Figures

We all know that Hasbro never decided to make action figures based on the classic 1982 John Carpenter film The Thing but what this fake ad presupposes is, what if they did. (High-five for a Royal Tenenbaums reference! Any takers?) This video, cut by Arlox, is a near perfect spoof of the oldĀ Aliens “Send In The Marines” ads that Kenner used to run. Credit to the copywriters of those ads, I don’t think there will ever come a time when I don’t hear that announcer shouting “Send In The Marines!” whenever I hear the word “Marines”.

I’ll also include the fake ad SNL did for Philadelphia action figures because I suppose it’s also relevant… (it’s number 11).

Copyright © 2013 Xerxes Cortez. Based on Theme: Esquire by Matthew Buchanan.

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