01

Nov

And Now A Word From The Author

More like Ghoulet...am I right?As you can tell from the previous post, I dressed my dog up as Batman so I shaved off the beard and rocked a mustache so I could go as Commissioner Gordon but when I got home, I did what I always do whenever I rock a ‘stache and that’s break out my maroon turtleneck and my brown velour sport coat and pose for a fake book jacket cover!

Based solely on this author’s photo, you’d think the book would be about ancient Mayan secrets or Nazis or the connection between ancient Mayan secrets and the Nazis. Or it would be a self-help book with a number in the title like, “The Four Promises” or “The Five Pillars to a New & Better You”.

Well, you’d be wrong.

I plan on using this photo for my book where I explode the myth of bears and menstruation, so there. (I’d probably find a way to tie everything back to the ancient Mayan/Nazi war machine so you’re not completely out of left field.)

205 days ago Short URL Comments

Pics/Ramblings

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26

Jul

Batman: The Early Years

Throwing my hat in for the Batman reboot...

Throwing my hat in for the Batman reboot…

I’ve been going through some boxes of old pictures lately and I found this photo of me dressed up as Batman. I’m not sure how old I was when this was taken but if I had to guess, I’d say somewhere between 3 and 21. That range is based on the years in my life when I would have probably worn a Batman costume. 3 to 21 is a fairly good guess because as I’ve matured, my costume of choice eventually became Spider-Man.

Also, as much as I’d love to say this was taken on Halloween, there’s really no way for me to be sure about that. This could’ve been just a regular-ass Wednesday for me.

I was a lucky kid growing up because my mother was a crafty woman. (Crafty like needlepoint, not crafty like Heather Locklear on Melrose Place.) Halloween was a great time because she’d always find a way to make me a kick-ass costume. There’s nothing quite like having a handmade costume when you go out trick-or-treating because you know that even if you run into another Batman, you’re going to look totally different.

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303 days ago Short URL Comments

Pics/Ramblings

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12

Jul

My Accidental Cosplay for Today Is…

The late Steve Irwin a.k.a. The Crocodile Hunter!

Xerxes vs. Crocodile Hunter

It’s a very weird “Who wore it best?”

I really have to start remembering to check the mirror before I dash out of the house in the mornings.

As an aside, did you know that movie poster legend Drew Struzan painted, not one, but two posters for Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course? And that Drew recently came out of retirement to release posters through Mondo? And if you’re looking for an excellent gift for me…hint hint…

This was all just an elaborate ruse to convince someone out there to get me one of those posters.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to check Missed Connections to see if anyone was looking for an Asian guy dressed like the Crocodile Hunter.

316 days ago Short URL Comments

Ramblings

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28

Jun

My Thoughts on Wishmaster 4

I’ve watched my fair share of shitty movies and I’ve also spent my fair share thinking about genies so it’s pretty much inevitable that I’d write about Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled. I’m sure I’m probably late to the game on this one since the movie came out in 2002 but—

What’s that? I’m not late? I’m the only one here. Well that makes it a bit easier.

Wishmaster 4 was the final entry in the Wishmaster series so it’s the one with the least amount of production value on screen which is unfortunate because this movie actually has a pretty interesting premise as far as evil genie movies go. Now don’t go rushing to pick up a copy of this because of what I just said; it is not a good movie and I’m inclined to believe that anything interesting that happened in this movie is purely by accident. (I don’t think they’ll be using my quotes for the Blu-Ray re-release edition.)

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330 days ago Short URL Comments

Ramblings/Reviews

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26

Jun

An Ad For A Psychic Shaman

An ad for a psychic shaman my friend found in the free paper.

I was cleaning up my desk recently when I re-discovered this ad that my friend had ripped out of the free paper and given to me. Apparently, the free paper still has classifieds (what!?!) and in those classifieds, they have a page or two dedicated to psychics (WHAT!!?) And also, newspapers are still a thing. I know right! How delightfully quaint!

I’m not sure if psychics have moved most of their advertising onto the Internet but I do like that there are holdover guys that continue to buy ad space in the 24 Hour publication. I think those are the guys that really understand their target audience.

You could go through this ad and nitpick it line by line, pointing out the little grammatical mistakes but you could do that with just about every psychic ad. I think there’s bigger fish to fry here. Specifically the line near the bottom that reads:

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332 days ago Short URL Comments

Ramblings

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21

Jun

Johnny 5 and The World’s Biggest Bookstore

Full disclosure: In those rare times when I’m not editing or graphic-ing or blogging or stand-upping or ukulele-ing or the myriad of other projects I take (and abandon), I’ll sometimes work a shift over at The World’s Biggest Bookstore in Toronto. This doesn’t happen often. I’ve got to be available and there actually have to be hours when the store needs me but every now and again, I’m there slingin’ books.

For anyone that’s ever toiled in retail, I think we can all agree that it’s pretty miserable. I’m using the Woody Allen definition of “miserable” because there are actually horrible things going on so we should all just be thankful that we just have to deal with a lady that’s trying to get a refund on broken shoes instead of working at Foxconn. And actually, as far as retail jobs go, I’ve found working in a bookstore to be very therapeutic especially after having worked in advertising.

I guess that was long, roundabout way for me to say, “Hey, I love bookstores!”

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337 days ago Short URL Comments

Ramblings

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