Just Annie & Britta Frolicking, No Biggie

Okay folks, let’s all just take our seats and try to behave in a calm and orderly fashion. I’m assuming we’ve all been behaving very well since GQ has decided to give us the following video of Allison Brie & Gillian Jacobs frolicking around in their unmentionables so–

Wow! If we could somehow harness the speed at which you stopped reading and clicked play on that video, we could probably solve the energy crisis.

 

Hipster Disney Princesses – The Musical

A couple of things about this post:

  1. I don’t hate hipsters. I’ve never quite understood the ire the Internet has for hipsters. They just seem like people that want to fit in and be cool so they tailor and tweak their personalities accordingly…just like every single f**king person in the world. I guess people don’t like them because they remind us of the artifice of our own lives. That and ridiculously skinny jeans. I prefer to focus on positives; things that I love, including…
  2. Cute girls in glasses. It’s an odd thing to be attracted to since I’m basically saying that I have a thing for girls who, if we were to procreate, would pass on inferior eyesight to our progeny thus making them more susceptible to animal attacks, but boy do they look cute with them specs. Especially…
  3. Cute redheads in glasses wearing clam shell bras and green miniskirts. I think it’s a little unfair to the other Disney Princesses in this video to have Ariel dressed in her mermaid form. I hope this didn’t cause any friction on set (wink!). The only mature way to settle that would’ve been something like a hula-hoop contest. Now I’m sad that that footage doesn’t exist, not even in the behind-the-scenes.

Scully Frequently Says “Oh My God”

Thanks Internet (johnnylloydrollins to be specific) for this supercut of Scully’sOh my God’s. As many have pointed out, after about :20 seconds, it becomes oddly erotic but I have to say, it’s not quite as sexy as that time Gillian Anderson did that music video.

I may be misreading this but I think that song was about a weird three-way with a robot couple.

The Truth Behind My Crush on Kari Byron

Mathematically making Kari the SyFy Original Movie “Mega Python vs. Gatoroid”

Well this blew my mind today. I’ve finally realized what it is about Kari Byron from Mythbusters that I find so appealing and it is apparently, deeply rooted in my childhood crushes on 80′s mall pop icons Tiffany and Debbie Gibson.

Last night, I caught an episode of Mythbusters on Discovery Channel and in an instant, my crush on Kari came rushing back to me. (In case you were wondering, it was the episode where they tried to blow up a house like Jason Bourne did and where they simulated toilet water being frozen outside of an airplane.)

This always happens with her; I fall hard, realize that it could never be, move on and try to forget about her, and then fall back in “crush” when I catch a rerun while flipping channels. Oh, why are we doomed to this vicious cycle? It’s like we’re Eminem and Kim (or Eminem and Stan?).

But of course, it all makes so much sense now. I’m projecting so many of my unresolved feelings for both Tiffany and Debbie Gibson onto Kari and that’s totally not fair. I guess I’ll have to go back to listening to “I Think We’re Alone Now” and “Only In My Dreams” and work some things out…

Actually forget all that and watch this video of her doing The Safety Dance.

A Taste of the Community Season 3 Gag Reel

Today’s been a rough day, what with the heat and all. So take a well-deserved break and enjoy this little bit of the Season 3 Gag Reel for Community that NBC showed at SDCC. Note: Alison’s rapping has vastly improved as there was no mention of tacos! She’ll soon be spitting that hot fire!!

Fine, I’ve included a gif after the jump…

Continue reading

Well Hello There Alison!

I plan on using this GIF as a proof-of-concept for an upcoming Alison Brie dating simulator. My god; it’s like printing my own money!

Thanks to the In Case of Darkest Timeline tumblr for this. And thanks to ziccup for this…

Full disclosure: although there about 50 words in this post, it took me about 20 minutes to type it out because she’s just so darned adorable!

Copyright © 2013 Xerxes Cortez. Based on Theme: Esquire by Matthew Buchanan.

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